ENNEA-Typing Out
by Jerome Wagner, Ph.D.
There is an amusingly ghoulish show on TV called “Wednesday.” Wednesday is the daughter in the, shall we say, non-traditional Addams family. She is attending her mother Morticia’s alma mater for similarly “gifted” children such as Medusas who turn people to stone when you look at their hair and werewolves who transform when the moon is full. They refer to themselves as “wolfing out” when the transformation occurs. If they don’t want to “wolf out,” they can put themselves in a holding pen until the moon goes away.
In my own macabre way, I think this is a striking metaphor for Enneagram types. You might recall times when you’ve “One’d out” or “Two’d out” or “Three’d out” etc. Times when you’ve transmuted into grotesque versions of yourself — like those medieval statuaries. Times when you’ve said “That was my evil twin” or “I was beside myself.” The change can happen quickly – especially when the moon is full and you’ve been left unsupervised.
While this is a frightening conversion, the good news is it’s only temporary –until the moon disappears. The moon is what triggers your defensive style — what brings out your teeth and claws. Who wants to mess with a werewolf? The moon can bring out the worst in us.
We can also be moonstruck – out of our minds. A temporary insanity. “I don’t know what came over me.” I was suddenly so angry, so helpful, so preening, so misunderstood, so withdrawn, so afraid, so distracted, so aggressive, so exhausted. You get the idea.
What is your moon? What are you particularly sensitive about? What are you trying to avoid? What’s the worst thing that can happen to you that you’ll do anything to prevent it? Your unconscious radar is constantly scanning for threats to your ego. And it prompts a rapid reaction. When the danger is dealt with, the defenses can be lowered. Are you afraid of being wrong and criticized? Unappreciated and rejected? Overlooked and unfeted? Misunderstood and abandoned? Not understanding and ridiculed? Caught off guard and injured? Restricted and bored? Weak and taken advantage of? Disturbed and made uncomfortable? And variations on those themes.
Defensively, you …
- “One-out” and try harder
- “Two-out” and help co-dependently
- “Three-out” and take on more projects
- “Four-out” and compare enviously
- “Five-out” and vanish into your cerebral castle
- “Six-out” and doubt, doubt, doubt
- “Seven-out” and plan pleasurable possibilities
- “Eight-out” and lash out
- “Nine-out” and pass out.
Not to mention all the other techniques you’ve discovered to survive those real and imagined assaults on your ego ideal.
Again, unless you are permanently moonstruck, these states are transient, and you can return to your real self when the danger passes.
How can you avoid “enneatyping out” in the first place? One way is to recognize your moon and stay in when it appears. That requires awareness – noticing the triggering stimuli (your vulnerabilities and sensitivities) and then short-circuiting or circumventing the automatic reaction. Stay in and ground yourself in your inner resources vs. storming out with your ego defenses. Reprogram your brain. Let that very stimuli prompt you to do something else. When you see that donut, pick up a carrot. Really, who are you kidding? When you envy someone, appreciate them instead of wanting to eliminate them.
Another approach, not necessarily pleasant, is exposure therapy. Stick around in the very situation or condition you would really rather avoid. If Pavlov and Skinner were correct, your fear will gradually extinguish when you discover that imperfection, etc. doesn’t kill you and you will eventually stop salivating when those food pellets don’t appear. Just know that you will be quite anxious until the extinction works. And you will think this is really the dumbest advice you’ve ever been given.
I have to admit, I laughed almost out loud (I still don’t want to look that foolish) when the werewolf teens talked about “wolfing out.” And maybe laughing when I “Five out” might diminish the embarrassment and fear after I do so. I’m also reminded that being able to laugh at oneself is a sign of mental health. Or at least that’s what they say.
So, the next time you “Enneatype out,” don’t take it so seriously. Don’t feed the wolf, play with it. Your wolf has helped you to survive, now domesticate it into a less fierce resourceful companion.
